Fourteen-year-old Abaynesh wanted to become a doctor. But then she was married and had to break off her schooling to do the housework for her in-laws. It is a fate shared by many girls in Ethiopia.
In the next 60 seconds, 28 girls will be married. Another 28 will be married in the minute after that. And then 28 more. And so on. Every year, 15 million children become wives.
Young women who are actually still girls — but who already have a husband, and sometimes even a child: It is a fate shared by Abaynesh from Ethiopia, Ramgani from India and Nayane from Brazil. Each has her own story and her own way of dealing with the situation. SPIEGEL ONLINE asked them to share theirs.
Abaynesh , 14 years old, from Ethiopia
“Just after I was married, I wanted to continue going to school, but my family and my in-laws refused to allow it,” says Abaynesh as she paces back-and-forth in the hut of wood, sun-dried brick and straw that she shares with her husband and two mules in Gindero, located in Ethiopia’s Amhara region.
The tall green mountains, the fields extending into the far distance, a night so dark that only the stars remind us that our eyes are open: It all hints of a place that has been left behind by hurry and progress. There are no neighbors, no running water, no electricity and no clocks.
The sun hasn’t even risen yet, but 14-year-old Abaynesh is already on her way to the river to fetch water. She carries a drum of more than 20 liters on her tiny back, but neither the weight nor her advanced pregnancy prevent her from walking swiftly and firmly.
Her in-laws decided to change her name to Jemata when she got married three years ago. For her, the name Abaynesh symbolizes the person she wanted to be but couldn’t. “When I was little, I had very good grades and I wanted to be a doctor,” she recalls wistfully.
Ethiopian girls can end up at the altar in two different ways. The most common is through an agreement between families. The second is kidnapping. If a girl’s family refuses a marriage, the man will often simply kidnap the young bride. In such instances, the parents of the future bride have no option but to accept the union due to the demands of tradition and honor.
Forty-one percent of Ethiopian women between the ages of 20 and 24 were married as children, while three out of every four women between 15 and 49 have undergone some form of genital mutilation. Abaynesh is one of these women: Her labium was cut a few days after she was born.
These practices coexist in more than 20 countries, mostly in Africa. Sometimes they are closely related, especially when genital mutilation is seen as a prerequisite for marriage.
Abaynesh was not mutilated to guarantee her purity or to prevent her from experiencing physical pleasure, but rather to “facilitate male penetration once married,” says Mesel Nigusie, who has carried out female genital mutilation for the last 28 years.
“It must be done before girls reach 15 days old because the body is stronger and heals faster,” she says. She also claims that the wound heals and stops hurting within eight to 10 days.
Mesel Nigusie is 48 years old. She has circumcized girls for the last 28 years without charging families for her services. Since the government prohibited it, female ablation is practiced in secret. “I am still asked to do it, but it is not worth the risk when I don’t make money out of it,” she says.
After fetching water, Abaynesh, who is pregnant, cleans her home, her in-laws’ house and the animal shed. She picks up the livestock manure, lights a cooking fire on the floor, gathers ears of corn, washes the dishes and, bent over her swollen belly, cooks lunch and dinner for the whole family.
Abaynesh begins roasting corn for lunch. She was only 11 when she was married. When asked, she says that she and her husband began having sexual intercourse 10 days after the wedding. “I got married, I knew what would come after,” she says.
Abaynesh lights the fire to make coffee while her husband Tadesse heads out to gather firewood. The region of Amhara where they live has the greatest percentage of registered child marriages in the country: Forty-five percent of women between 20 and 24 were married before reaching the age of majority, according to data from UNICEF.
The women of the family drink coffee after lunch. They only eat once the men have finished. On the right sits Abaynesh’s mother-in-law. Her sister-in-law (23) is holding her third baby. Abaynesh’s little sister (12) is sitting in the back.
Fourteen-year-old Abaynesh and her husband Tadesse (22) in front of one of the barns. It’s Tadesse’s first cigarette and he cant help but cough. Abaynesh found out about her wedding to Tadesse as the guests were being invited to the celebration. Nobody had bothered to inform her before.
Abaynesh and Tadesse are expecting their first child and they say they wont make their son or daughter experience the same fate they did. The state where they come from, Amhara, has the lowest median age for first-time marriages (14.7 years).
Now that Abaynesh is pregnant, she does less fieldwork for her in-laws. She says she’s happy now, but she wants to move to the city with her husband, far away from his family, to have more “freedom” and to be able to make their own choices.
Yalelet Assefa (27) and Sinide Mekoya (14) got married in January 2016. Yalelet’s father wanted a wife for his son, who was getting older, and asked Sinide’s father for his daughter’s hand in marriage. Like Abaynesh, she didn’t know she was getting married until a few days before the ceremony. Afterwards, she dropped out of school and moved into her in-law’s house.
Birara Dessie (25) and Haimanot Abera (14) married in June 2016. When asked about her age, she said nothing and her husband answered for her. She is now out of school and helps her new family in the fields and takes care of the household chores.
Abaynesh’s father-in-law says that families prefer circumcised women for cultural reasons. He further claims that younger girls blend in better with their in-laws, are less rebellious and become better wives.
Abaynesh’s eyes reflect the exhaustion that her body hides. She prepares coffee after dinner, crouched in the centre of her in-law’s room. She remains unconnected to the family’s conversations around her and hardly says a word.
And the same routine will be repeated the next day and the day after that — perhaps as she daydreams about what it would have been like to become a doctor.
The child marriage series continues with the stories of Ramgani in India and Nayane in Brazil. This project was funded by the European Journalism Centre (EJC) through its Innovation in Development Reporting Grant Programme.
SOURCE – SPIEGEL ONLINE